When I was born in Massachusetts, the hospital had a chaplain come to my parents to talk and comfort them about the difficulties I would face with my congenital birth defect, Spina Bifida, which can result in varying levels of paraplegia to quadriplegia. As my mother has told me the story over the years, this chaplain was upset for us, but the only reaction my parents gave was that it was okay. They will learn what to do, and accept whatever becomes of their newborn child. I would be loved unconditionally.
Four years later, my grandmother moved to Florida to be in a warmer climate and told my parents it would be a lot warmer and easier for me to learn how to be more independent with my scooter, and soon enough, my first wheelchair. We made the move, and soon I would learn how to push my wheelchair by myself. Instead of my first crawl or first steps, it was pushing the scooter. And then as a toddler, imagine a four-year old wheeling around the store or mall while you are trying to shop, and then hearing the intercom saying your child in the red wheelchair is at Customer Service after trying to chat with other customers. Parental panic still happens in my family.
After a year or so in Florida, my mother took me to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Fort Myers for the first time, at age five. I guess you could say I have never looked back, much to my parent’s surprise as to how much I attached myself to a Unitarian Universalist identity at that age.
Now, at 23, I have been actively involved in religious education classes, youth organizing events, and now highly involved in LGBT and accessibility related causes. I am in control of my own identity and my own search for truth & meaning covenanting with those who see the “inherent worth and dignity of every person.”
My faith and the people I create community with have always promised to help me grow in my own personal identity, but also in the sometimes difficult paradigm of adult sibling and adult child. Somewhere boundaries are crossed and it is difficult for me to return to a loving place in myself, but I know I can mess up, and still be loved and loving.
Being with individuals who seek harmony in many different paths, does not give a negative connotation to the word “other” or “different” so frequently tossed around in our culture, but it gives it a positive affirmation recognizing common threads that bind us together. I am incredibly grateful for my parents and family’s support of my spiritual path, and also for the freedom to express myself honestly. I’m not just growing up, we’re growing together.
- Alison Carville -
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